March 19, 2009 at 1:22 am (Bumping into YOGA, The steps of LIFE)
I went for a primary led class on Tuesday evening, thinking that I could use some refresher info on the vinyasas as well as on how much I need to pick up my pace. It was fun, and great–the lesson kept me on my toes, and I really ended up very happy but also very sore, which made me think that perhaps I’m taking it a little slow/easy while on Mysore (though I know I really tried hard to take advantage of the class).
The nicest part was the fact that: (1) I got to do two new poses (Janu Sirsasana C and Marichi A), and (2) I got to try the backbends! 
But by far the most illuminating moment came when D noticed that I needed guidance on Janu Sirsasana C. He asked, a little puzzled: “You’ve never done this before?” I answered “Well, no, you haven’t given this pose to me yet”, and then he went “Well, *now* I know!”. Ha. Talk about moments of realization. Of course–I’ve been on and off so much in the last few months, and so many people have come to the booming shala, that he lost track of where I was in the series, possibly thinking that I was already trying more advanced poses… it was *not* that he was keeping me behind because he thought I was not good enough. I know some could argue that it shouldn’t matter, but I’ll confess that realizing this really took off a huge, huge weight of my shoulders…
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March 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm (Bumping into YOGA, Running to HEALTH)
Today I managed to wake up earlier than usual and be in the shala at a very good time. Surprisingly, it was full!!! Seems like everyone is on the same wave lenght
Practice was nice–not wonderful, but it just felt good to be there, focus, get centered and get some good stretches. I was a bit woobly and out of balance, though, and my heel was burning a little bit more than usual ;( despite the fact that I’ve been taking another little break for the past couple of days, and I’ve been doing some special stretch exercises for my calves and hamstrings, usually recommended for Achilles treatment (since the calves and hamstrings are tight, particularly on the left leg, that’s definitely worsening the pull on the tendon).
Anyway. I had to remind/ask K not to adjust me too strongly in downward dog; I think we was used to see my heels on the floor and now I cannot do it with my left foot (I’m afraid of tearing the tendon). For symmetry, I’m not bringing the other heel down either. I hope this goes back soon. Getting the heels on the floor used to be one of my favorite feelings during practice… ;(
Despite that little bummer, I’m pretty happy I made it. Feeling good
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March 8, 2009 at 4:34 pm (Uncategorized)
Nice practice today, after another strip of days without practice, caused once more by renovation complications. Was late of the shala–forgot about the change in daylight savings… but, as I told T after, one of the advantages of not being very advanced is that I can be late and still make it through all my practice 
Well, by the end I had to cut out the shoulder stand and a couple of other finishing poses and went straight to the last 3-4, but overall I was happy with how things went. Heel still bothering me, but I’m trying to convert that into a good thing–it forces me to think about my muscles and concentrate on my own body and what each move brings to it…
This weekend is one of major reorganization and cleaning at home. Finally I can even do this, after weeks of a mess and clutter that really affect my state of being (can’t stand the clutter, it sickens me). Yesterday, after some work to put even more trash in large contractor black bags, I finally slept well. I hope today will help, too. Yeah, things are getting back on track
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March 5, 2009 at 2:04 am (Uncategorized)
…some little demons which I didn’t know I have around, incidentally.
The heel is still bothering me, and so I took another little break from practice to see if that would help–not that it worked before. It’s a weird injury–it doesn’t hurt during the day, but I feel a unnerving pull (and sometimes a burning sensation) only when I over-extend my leg on positions like the downward dog and parvottanasana.
But yesterday morning, as I pondered whether to get out of bed to practice, I also had–for the first time ever–a sensation that I really didn’t want to. Maybe it is that I’m generally very disciplined on most of the things I do (and I’m used to do well as a result) that I have this growing frustration with my Yoga practice. I know that the fact that my attendance got haphazard in the last 3 months can be reasonably justified; but deep inside I guess I blame myself pretty harshly for everything: for working overtime, for traveling, for having had a mess of a home renovation, for being tired, and for not being able to keep up with a decent practice. And not only that, butI also had to deal with my fears–that I will never be moved up, and that people (my instructors, in particular) may be totally convinced by now that I don’t take my practice seriously.
I know what matters is that *I* take it seriously (and God knows I do–for goodness’ sake, Yoga was the only thing that managed to keep me sane and stable during my father’s last weeks). But… the thing is that I’m deadly afraid of just being stuck forever and never advancing more in the Primary Series. Today I was reading Tova’s story about the backbends–which was inspirational, and at the same time made me wonder about how I should approach my own practice. Case in point: I have not been given any backbends yet, and reading how she just plunged into them confused me. Have I not taken this seriously enough, after all? Should I try them by myself? Should I abandon Mysore practice for a led beginners with backbends? Should I do this? Should I do that?
Anyway. One thing that came out from realizing that I had these fears was that at least I was able to see that: (1) they are irrational; (2) can be dealt with by just working (ie practicing); and (3) that the worst I could do would be to evade my own practice, since this could only make me feel very sorry for the wasted time later on. And so, I went to the shala this morning. Things were better–my heel still bothering me, but I managed to run through my whole routine at a good speed and focused. My balance is suffering a little with the heel’s business, but other than that I came out more balanced, grounded, stable inside… and with less fear and more control. I guess that was my internal Yoga of the last few days… A true backbend of the spirit.
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March 1, 2009 at 5:21 pm (Uncategorized)
I’ve been putting my yoga practice a bit on the back burner lately. I have been going through some complicated home renovations, which have really disrupted my days. This was compounded with the Ladies’ Holidays, and so I have not been to the shala for about 2 weeks. Today was my first day back.
It was sad. I was feeling strong overall, and fairly focused, and I was longing to have a long, deep practice… but the pain in my heel that was bothering me the last few times I practiced before the 2-week break has not subsided–rather, it has become worse. K came to me when he noted that I was having a little trouble putting my left heel down during downward dog –which is the only position that makes the lower back of the left heel burn. He said it sounded like Achilles pain, and recommended some modifications to the pose. I didn’t do them–I basically avoided putting the left heel down and that was enough to help me through it. Other than that, it went well.
But at the end of the practice I was feeling sad and annoyed. This pain has been there for the last 4-5 weeks; I was hoping that the break (that I had to take because of the renovations) would help cure the tendon… but no. The burn is getting worse, and I don’t know what that will mean to the adjustments going forward. Oh well, I guess it’s part of it all–learning how to deal with this as I try to get the heel to heal. Ha.
Anyway, I know I should not be bummed–things will be OK (I hope). But for now, I will just have to take it easy as I continue to practice…
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