OK, here is me, back after a long, long hiatus. It’s been a hiatus not only from the blog–it feels as if I’ve been away from my own life. I’m not happy about that. The whole “work time” in Peru was really tough–very busy, stressful, physically demanding. On workdays, we started at 8 am and went on for meeting after meeting (some of them quite important) battling awful traffic, stress, speculation, you name it. Sometimes, we didn’t get back to the hotel but until 9 – 10 pm. Since we couldn’t work much during the week, we got stuck together in the hotel’s executive lounge working for days long almost non stop over the weekends. Ewgh.
I managed to practice Yoga probably 3 times during those days. Everyone else was also complaining of the lack of time to exercise, let alone relax and sleep decently. Those days in which I practiced I felt terrible–I managed to get a decent Yoga mat, and sneaked into the spinning room at the gym much earlier in the morning, hours before the first class started. At least I was able to close the glass doors and be isolated from the rest of the gym’s noise. But I was watching myself on the 3 mirrored-covered-walls, realizing that I wasn’t breathing properly, that I wasn’t focusing and that my posture was just horrendous. As I looked I couldn’t avoid feeling discouraged, thinking to myself that there was no wonder why D is sometimes so tough on me during Mysore practice when I’m in town. I thought to myself “Gosh, I do suck…!”. And I was feeling also sad, realizing that I was quickly loosing that hard-earned flexibility that I had work so much to get since I started practicing in June.
I got back on Sunday afternoon–after an overnight flight in which I not only couldn’t sleep, but after which every single muscle and bone ached. After a little rest, I had to work again to submit some revisions to our project by Monday 9 am. Things have continued more or less like that for the last couple of days, only starting to slow down today. Of course, waking up at 5 am to attend Mysore was not even in the realm of possibilities. Finally now I get to sit, write this down and fear what will happen tomorrow at the shala. I expect horror–I’m even afraid of not being able to remember the proper sequencing up to Janu Sirsasana.
During my hiatus, I managed to peak at my dear “Yoga-friends” blogs. Alfia’s really made me smile with that “practice after a break is a bitch”. Ha. No kidding. A huge bitch. I’m fearing her tomorrow 
But, oh, well. This is part of Yoga, and part of learning, too. I’m fatter, weaker, less fit than I was when I left, and perhaps even more insecure. But I guess I just have to get over myself and do it. It may take me many days of practice to get to where I was–let alone improve to a level even close to where I want to be–but I suppose this is part of the process. Life–or nothing that is part of it–is ever linear. I find myself advancing and backtracking; and I suppose at this point, with my Yoga practice I’m at a point in which I truly back-stepped. Sure, maybe I could claim that “it was not me” –if that’s of any consolation; but that’s besides the point. It’s not what’s important. The thing is, this is the moment to demonstrate what really matters to me, to take over my temporarily derailed life again and regain what I may have lost in my Yoga practice. I’m sure I will learn much from this.
